Lukewarm

so..here i am ,again,using all my strength to write down all the cliche..I dont mean to act this way all the time but as u know,i just cant help.everything made me so,even probably it was just through birth.

for many times,i tried so hard to just slut around and i took Semantha(Sex&the City)who simply fucks around as my best example.u know it,no relationships,no commitment,no holding hands or even a second date&fuck.Semantha knows all the realtionships end badly.She knows men more than themsleves and the point is she needs nothing from men except a huge hard dick.Suddenly "love" becomes so simple.Maybe u 'll jump out and yell"For God's sake,that's not my defination for love"and u continue"love means pleasure beyond discription"but  meanwhile u cant deny that fact that good sex is the motivator of a good relationship.And wait a second,what do u think a fabulous fuck brings u? OH PLEASURE.and frankly enough to say that the better the fuck is the longer the pleasure lasts or the higher peak u can reach.

In Arthur Schopenhauer's philosophy,he told us that there're only two reasons which account a man's wanting of love and the more important one is "the need to reproduce"which can be explained less vaguely as "intercourse" Allow me that i am too shallow to elaborate,but do think about it.Ur wanting of love is just the hermone's trick or a sign which tells"You need to get laid"and i just couldn't wait giving my two thumbs up 

 With these two overwhelming and convincing theories,u may consider that i should feel utterly free to be a genuine slut...but when i saw Semantha feeling awful about being ignored by his date and when SEX&the city driving all the way from SEX back to the everlasting  and heartbreaking theme of human being:LOVE,a surge of despair flew through me.I felt like being well beaten up by the whole mankind.

What i am supposed to say when sleep-arounds are still in search of love by fucking first as a pretest seeing if his bedmate really qualifies and what the fuck i am gonna do when i am such a loser in my own mankind.

下午的时候，本准备趁着这明媚阳光一个人坐在屋顶看书晒太阳，好多日子没有上来了，满怀期待的第一眼却望见一片狼藉。不忍心照那些地面上的琐碎，那些东西足以丈量出它被遗忘的时光。照片中的这部分砖墙定是后来加上去的，现在的高度已经到了我的脖子，不努力是怎么也翻不过去的。小时候经常从这面墙翻到别人家阳台或者干脆他们家楼顶，被邻居抗议过无数次，被父母批评过无数次，却还是无法抵挡其中的乐趣，一种想要证明自己男子汉的乐趣。这里又多了很多高楼，很完美的挡住了我所有的视线。这样一面面灰白的墙真让人绝望，因为这么多年过去了，我还是无法越过它看到更远的地方。

 只好放弃了楼顶读书的计划，铺张报纸坐到楼梯口读一本压抑与渴望自由的书，除了楼下的景色，其他的只有这些墙…许多面颜色相同的墙，它们无处不在，甚至骄傲的伫立在我卧室的窗户外面。忽然，想想一个窗外只有墙的人，怎么能不渴望自由呢？

如果现在有人问我,吹泡界最喜欢谁,我大概除了Massive Attack和Portishead之后接下来就会说Kid Loco。我想很多人认识KL或者去听他的音乐首先都是被专辑封面所诱惑..

听他是先从Kill Your Darlings开始,也是被很多人认为流行化或者退步的专辑,不过我还是迫不及待的给了四星..因为我从来不是苛刻的听众.

(噱头:Try This)

GrandLoveStory专辑A面土豆视听

关于Grand Love Story的B面一直没有机会全部听到,不过在Youtube上找到一首其中的MV,还是颇为喜欢

Kid Loco "cum'on" 1ª versión (2002)

Kid Loco的作品总带点"异域风情"和"荷尔蒙"的味道,与此同时,总能在让我在一首歌中听到不同的感觉,而不是一成不变的枯燥.比如99年EP<Blues Project>中的Welcome To A World Of Sex.长达近8分钟,一个短短的20秒仲夏夜之梦般的开场,然后直奔主题。

06年，他为美国一部电影The Graffiti Artist做了OST.一部关于涂鸦的电影,DJ们总是跟Hip-pop,Graffti脱不了干系.也不知道是哪一年,他与前英伦乐队Pulp主唱合作了一曲I Just Came To Tell You That I'm Going,十足的Loco味。

Esperanza,do you still remember those little shining secrets i told you last night in my sweet sweet dream?What?You've  forgotten'em and even don't know who i am?Ah,I'm so sad,but I can't cry you know.Mama always tell me to be a tough boy."you can't cry because pretty chicks will laugh at you"said mum,looking at the 5-year-old me not that gently.I wondered why mama looked at me like that,like a beautiful but evil witch in disguise.I wondered wondered wondered until I was asleep in my splendid backyard where spring is a always time and birds and flowers stand in line,singing an epic,dusty  song my papa wrote to my mama at their first date.The song went like this:"are you a robber or are you a stealer,why even the naughty clouds clear the way for you?why even  the  yummy flowers can't help peeking you.oh~oh~"mum often told me that this song was really lame and awful but she still slept with this record playing every night.At that time,mama looked so sweet ,soooo sweet,just like the moment before Alp's milk sugar meltted in my mouth....but it disapeared  until she saw me cry.

It seems that her concern is "girls will laugh at you or girls won't like you or go out with you"and she can get incredibley mad about that.Esperanza,you know i love my mama,so whenever i wanna cry,i ran into my backyard,burying my face into the grass,and my dearest friends,birds and flowers always hided me so it looked that i wasn't here.my birds stopped singing but silently streched out near me and touched my teary face with their feather.Day after day after day after day,i grew up,like other gorgeous boys.mama still loved me because she hadn't seen me crying since then and meanwhile she always wondered why those grass and flowers almost grew into sky and i still didn't have a pretty girl around even if i quitted crying.

 But the truth is...please shh..you must know all the reasons,they are still the same as i told you last night.I only quitted crying in front of mama because i love her and fear her not-that-gentle look and i'm pretty sure that my backyard will tell you that i am not lying."huh?why i am still alone?"Espeeranze please don't be so direct,you know i'm always a shiny,shy boy who blushes and cries.I'm not sure if you'll still love me if I tell you..well,I know I know I've told you but you forgot,didn't you?But now everyone knows that you're my best friend and you are supposed to know everything about me just like what you did to me.But please be nice be gentle be peaceful or even pretend to be ..ok ok do you still remember  last last time i cried in front of you?do you know why?Yes,I cried for that bristly,dull boy because he was in love with another boy now,everything happened just so fast ,i even didn't get a chance to peek him through the aperture of the backdoor.Actually,i did see him..no..them once,yes,he was with him,so sweet so sweet that i cried like a river.This time I cried,but my birds and flowers never knew.

Haven't written things about me for ages..Actually,I'm doing grrreat except the money issue.with my desire expanding,my eagerness for more money skyrocketed.Jesus i am such a freak.it seems that i am changing my mind every...second and never tired of it..anyway i guess it may be part of my charm.. (i laughed..)

Thanks to roomie(i mean his ipod video),my life here became easier.days filling up with movies and shows make me kinda a bedridden guy..data shows that the time i spent in the bed watching and sleeping already exceeded that of my time on the ground..lol..i am becoming a spaceman.

with so many stuff to watch,i almost disconnect with the whole world.well,that's great to me for i do think it's about time i started living a personal life.Friends always hurt me in a way they may not know or intend to and family always wants to manipulate me.then i tell myself,why not leave'em alone,huh? so here i am--in front of my computer or there,in the bed.

One milliondollar baby really taught me a meaningful lesson which firmed my theory of life,though seems sooo difficult in the process,i would like to give it a shot or at least keep approximating it.we should try everything we want or even once wanted to,otherwise we are gonna sleep in our cozy coffin and regretting with no one comfortting us.life won't give us another chance for we already blown it off toughly.so life decides not to be nice for we embarrassed him at first.

A Beautiful Mind called back my belief for something we call LOVE.no matter how much we have suffered or even we suffer more than John N,we'll still have someone who leans in our arms,listening to our complain or holds us tightly ,just be the walkingstick when we are too sick to move about.Miao told me that"the worst part in life is waitting but the best part in life is to have someone worth waitting for" well my reply is "the crucial and most practical part of life is to find out who the one is as quickly so we can" of course,i was kiddin then..but what i said made sense.it just takes time and effort to really meet someone who we will share our all with.and there is no certain extent about the time and effort,but we just have to be confident and chin up even we got hurt millions of times in the path of your destination...by saying all this,i am not returning to a kid,i am growing mature.thats just a change of attitude,not only for love but for life.

So,after so many hearbreaks..we really should be grateful and cross our finger "thank lord,i am still alive,i mean invincible"